What is the gift of charity? How can I apply it to my daily life?

 I was asked this today during a meeting with our Elders after stake conference.

I had just read Moroni 7:45 last night, but if I’m being honest, my understanding of it wasn’t quite right.

I took it very literally, as I do... Like—give charity to those in need. Help people. Serve. That kind of thing. 

And while that’s not wrong… I understand now that it’s not what that verse is really talking about.

As I’ve sat with it more, I’ve realized it means something deeper. Something a little more personal. It’s not just what we do for people… but how we are with them.

What I’m starting to understand is that the gift of charity is really about how we show up in our everyday lives.

It’s choosing to put your best foot forward… even when you’re tired. Even when it’s inconvenient. Even when it’s not returned.

It’s trying—intentionally—to be a reflection of Christ’s love in the way you interact with people.

Not perfectly. Just… with intention.

It’s letting people feel something different when they’re around you. Something softer—something a bit more steady.

It’s choosing compassion when it would be easier to judge someone.

Choosing empathy even when you don’t fully understand them.

Choosing patience when everything in you wants to react with emotion.

It’s giving people the benefit of the doubt instead of assuming the worst about them.

It’s loving people simply because they’re children of God… not because they’ve earned it somehow.

It’s not putting yourself above anyone else… but meeting people where they are right now.

And sometimes, it’s having to look a little harder to find the good in someone—but choosing to look for it anyway.

And when it comes to actually applying this in real life… that’s where it gets a little harder, because it’s easier to talk about than it is to live it.

It looks like someone being short with you… and you not matching their tone.

It looks like your kids struggling… and choosing understanding instead of frustration.

It looks like being completely exhausted… and still trying to respond with softness instead of snapping.

It shows up in your thoughts too.

Catching yourself before you spiral into “they’re doing that on purpose” or “they don’t care”…

and instead choosing to think, “I don’t know their full story” or “maybe they’re struggling too.”

It’s pausing before you respond.

Letting go of things that don’t actually matter. Choosing peace over being right.

And I honestly think one of the most overlooked parts of this is how we treat ourselves. Because charity isn’t just outward, it also looks like not tearing yourself apart after a hard day.

It looks like speaking to yourself the same way you would your daughter… with patience and grace.

It looks like allowing room for growth… instead of expecting perfection from yourself all the time.

And I think the biggest thing I’ve realized is this: This kind of Godly love doesn’t just happen. It’s a choice that you make over and over again.

Some days you’ll get it right. Some days you won’t. But the willingness to keep choosing it anyway… I think that’s where the gift of charity really lives.