The Quiet Rebellion of Doing Whatever the Heck I Want

Lately, I’ve been doing a whole lot more of whatever the heck I want.

And I like it.

Not out of anger.

Not in a midlife crisis kind of way.

But in a soul finally exhaling kind of way.

You spend your childhood being told what to do, how to act, when to speak, and who to become. And even when you fight back—when you rebel—it’s still inside the box they built for you. It’s not real freedom. It’s resistance inside a structure.

Then adulthood hits. And most of us—especially women, especially moms—don’t just fall into the role of caretaker… we disappear into it. We do what’s best for the kids. For the spouse. For the family unit. We put our own needs and wants on the back burner, not because we don’t matter, but because we’ve been conditioned to believe everyone else matters more. First. 

And if you’re neurodivergent like me, it’s even harder.

We grow up overthinking everything. Reading the room. Masking.

Trying to be palatable. Likable. Safe.

We people-please until we forget what it even feels like to have a genuine want of our own.

But now?

Now we’re here.

In this wild, wonderful season of our 40s.

Our kids are getting older. More independent. We’re still guiding them, yes—but we’re not carrying them anymore. Not in the same way.

And somewhere in that space, we have room to ask:

What do I want? What do I need?

Not what makes everyone else comfortable.

Not what keeps the peace.

Not what will make me seem “productive” or “useful” or “good.”

Just… what feels right?

It’s a strange, beautiful, sometimes terrifying freedom.

And I’m not gonna lie—I like it here.

I like making choices based on joy instead of obligation.

I like listening to the voice inside me that says, “This matters to you,” and letting that be enough.

For those of us who’ve spent our whole lives waiting for permission to just be—this is our time.

Not to run away from our families, or abandon our roles—but to come home to ourselves.

To unlearn the belief that we’re only as valuable as what we produce or give.

To let go of the fear that choosing ourselves makes us selfish.

To remember that our worth is not measured by sacrifice alone.

This is our coming-of-age story.

And baby, it’s just getting started.

Have you felt this shift too?

I’d love to hear about it in the comments. Let’s talk about growing up, breaking free, and finally choosing us.

#LifeInFullSpectrum #NeurodivergentAndThriving #ComingOfAgeAt40 #StillGrowing #PeaceFeelsLikeThis #SoftRebellion #ThisIsMyEra