💔 Condemned by Both Sides (But Still Choosing Love Anyway)

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately… and honestly, I don’t even know where I belong anymore.

Not in the church, not in the world. Not with the loud “Christians,” not with the people who’ve given up on faith altogether. I feel like I’m standing in the middle of a road and getting hit from both directions.

Because what if God didn’t just mean for us to avoid cussing, dress modestly, skip scary movies, and only listen to worship music?

(Yes, modesty was mentioned in the Bible—but not in the way it’s often twisted today. It was about humility, not hemlines.) He didn’t mean for girls to only wear floor length dresses or that tank tops were a sin. 

What if He didn’t mean for us to go to a building every Sunday and pretend we’re holy while we silently judge the girl in the row behind us for her skirt or tattoos or who she loves? (He didn’t btw). 

What if He didn’t mean for church to become a performance?

What if Jesus would actually be heartbroken if He walked into half the churches in America today?(He would be.)

Because I’ve sat in rooms with people who call themselves Christians—who quote scripture like it’s ammo—and I’ve watched those same people panic and look out their window because a Black male landscaper was driving through her neighborhood.

“He doesn’t belong in here,” she said.

I was there.

That wasn’t Jesus. That was fear wrapped in religion.

I think we’ve gotten so far away from what Jesus actually cared about.

He didn’t care about your Sunday attendance or whether you listen to Christian radio.

He cared about the hungry being fed.

The broken being healed.

The outcast being welcomed.

The foreigner being treated like family.

Because what He truly cared about was that His children loved one another.

He loved the ones nobody else wanted.

And now we’re using His name to reject the very people He would’ve pulled close.

And let’s talk about the LGBTQ+ community for a second—because some of y’all are quoting verses that were translated in 1946 and acting like that’s God’s final word.

Let me be clear:

The word “homosexual” wasn’t even in the Bible until 1946.

The Greek words that were there (arsenokoitai and malakoi) had more to do with abuse, power, and exploitation—not loving, consensual relationships like the ones we see today.

But instead of digging for truth, people just ran with what they were told.

And now we’ve got entire churches built around the idea that love between two people of the same gender is somehow worse than hate in a pew.

You really think that’s Jesus?

You really think He would’ve stood there, silent, while a gay kid cried themselves to sleep because of something a pastor screamed at them?

I don’t.

I think a lot of people have been misled.

They’re not all bad people.

But they’ve followed blindly—because questioning the church was made to feel like questioning God.

And so instead of asking, “Does this feel like love?”, they just stayed silent.

And here I am.

Not holy enough for the church crowd.

Too Jesus-loving for the world.

I don’t know every verse.

I don’t go to church every Sunday.

I’ve got tattoos and a past.

But I still pray. I still believe. I still love Jesus more than anything.

And I still believe He’s exactly who He said He was.

But because I love people the church says not to…

Because I speak up when things don’t sit right in my spirit…

Because I care more about people than politics or rules…

I get called rebellious.

Soft.

A fake Christian.

“Too emotional.”

“Too liberal.”

And sometimes I sit with that and wonder—am I the problem?

But deep down, I know I’m not.

I’m just not willing to turn off my heart to fit in with people who lost theirs a long time ago. (What’s the verse about people’s hearts turning cold?)

So if you’ve ever felt like you don’t belong on either side, you’re not alone.

If you’ve felt too loud, too soft, too much, too little… you’re not alone.

If you still love Jesus but don’t recognize Him in the mouths of the people shouting His name—me too.

You’re not crazy. You’re not backsliding. You’re not “lukewarm.”

You just see more clearly than most.

And when you see clearly, you can’t unsee.

You can’t go back to sleep.

So keep standing in the middle.

Keep loving people boldly.

Keep asking hard questions.

Keep defending the ones no one else will.

And keep choosing love—even when it’s uncomfortable.

Jesus did.

And if that gets you condemned by both sides?

So be it.

You’ll still be exactly where He is.

And I’ll sit with you too. 😉 

🖤