Why Do People Have Kids They Can’t Afford?

 

She works full-time. Her kids still go to bed hungry.
This isn’t neglect—it’s the cost of survival for too many in America.

It’s a question that gets tossed around too easily.

Usually by someone who’s never had to choose between paying rent or buying groceries.

“Why do people have children they can’t afford?” they ask—smugly, judgmentally—like poverty is always the result of poor choices instead of systemic failures.


But the truth is far more complex than that.


Because No One Can Predict the Future


Most people don’t set out to bring children into financial instability.

They have dreams, jobs, plans. They’re stable—until they’re not.


A layoff.

A medical diagnosis.

A global pandemic.

A car breaking down when there’s no savings to fix it.

Life can change overnight, and for many working-class families, there’s no safety net to fall back on.


Having a child during a time of hope doesn’t mean they “should’ve known better.” It means they believed in a future that was taken from them—not by laziness or recklessness, but by systems designed to keep the rich comfortable while the rest scramble to survive.


Because Access to Healthcare and Family Planning Is Not Equal


Let’s be honest: birth control is not foolproof.

Even the most reliable methods can fail. And not everyone has access to consistent, affordable reproductive healthcare—especially in underserved and rural areas.


Abortions? They’re expensive, restricted,  controversial and/or outright banned in many states.

Adoption? A painful, complex decision with lifelong emotional consequences.

Keeping the child is not always about “choosing” poverty—it’s about navigating a world that leaves few real choices at all.


Because Children Are Human, Not Budget Items


This idea that someone must qualify to be a parent based on their income is deeply flawed.

We don’t ask the wealthy to prove their emotional fitness before becoming parents.

So why do we ask the poor to prove their financial worth?


Children born into low-income households aren’t less deserving of love, nourishment, or opportunity. They are just as valuable, just as full of potential. And blaming them—or their parents—for being born without wealth is a cruel oversimplification of what it means to be human.


Because Poverty Is a Policy Choice


The United States is one of the wealthiest nations in the world.

We have the means to ensure every child has access to food, healthcare, and education.

Yet we don’t.


Instead, we hand billions in tax breaks to corporations. We fund prisons more reliably than we fund schools. We expect people to work multiple jobs and still question their worth if they ask for help.


So when a child goes hungry, it’s not a parenting failure.

It’s a policy failure.

It’s a society that has prioritized punishment over compassion, profit over people.


The Real Question Is This:


Why are we more outraged by a struggling parent than by a system that lets children starve?


Why do we get more upset about someone receiving help than we do about a child going without?


And why do we keep shaming struggling families instead of questioning why basic needs aren’t guaranteed in the first place?


⸻


The next time someone asks, “Why do people have kids they can’t afford?”

Ask them why we live in a world where money determines who gets to be fed, who gets to be safe, and who gets to dream.


Because the problem isn’t that people have children.

The problem is that our society treats poverty as a personal failure, instead of the structural issue it is.


And until we fix that, the judgment should stop at the mirror.


Let’s Look at the Math


It’s easy to say, “Don’t have kids if you can’t afford them.”

But in today’s America, the problem isn’t reckless parenting—it’s that the cost of living has skyrocketed while wages have barely moved.


Let’s break it down:


💸 The Federal Minimum Wage

• Still $7.25/hour—unchanged since 2009.

• A full-time worker earning minimum wage makes $15,080/year before taxes.


🏠 Average Monthly Rent in the U.S.

• As of 2024, the national average rent is $1,702/month for a one-bedroom.

• That’s $20,424/year, just for rent—more than a full-time minimum wage salary.


🍎 Food Costs for a Family of Four

• According to the USDA, a moderate monthly grocery budget for a family of four is around $1,200–$1,500/month.

• That’s up to $18,000/year—and that doesn’t include dining out or school lunches.


🚗 Childcare Costs

• Average annual infant care: $10,000–$15,000 per child, depending on state.

• In 30+ states, childcare now costs more than college tuition.


🧾 Meanwhile… Median Household Income

• As of 2023, the U.S. median household income is around $74,580/year.

• But nearly 40% of Americans can’t cover a $400 emergency expensewithout borrowing money or using credit.

• And 1 in 3 U.S. families are classified as “working poor”—meaning they’re employed but still fall below the poverty line due to cost of living.


⸻


So, What Does This Mean?


It means that you can do everything right—work full time, skip vacations, budget carefully—and still not afford the basics in this country.


People aren’t choosing to struggle.

They’re stuck in a system where survival costs more than many full-time jobs pay.


So when someone asks, “Why do people have kids they can’t afford?”

The better question might be:


Why is raising a child so unaffordable in a country that claims to value families?


✅ SOURCES


💸 Federal Minimum Wage


U.S. Department of Labor

https://www.dol.gov/agencies/whd/minimum-wage/history


🏠 Average Rent in the U.S.


Zillow Research (ZORI – Observed Rent Index)

https://www.zillow.com/research/data/


(Look under “Zillow Observed Rent Index (ZORI)” for national rent data)


🍎 USDA Food Costs for a Family


USDA Food Plans: Monthly Cost of Food at Home

https://www.fns.usda.gov/cnpp/usda-food-plans-cost-food-reports


(March 2024 report is the most recent, includes cost tables by family size and plan type)


🚗 Childcare Costs in the U.S.


Economic Policy Institute – Childcare Costs

https://www.epi.org/child-care-costs-in-the-united-states/


(Interactive map with breakdowns by state and age of child)


🧾 U.S. Median Household Income (2023)


U.S. Census Bureau – Income in the United States: 2023

https://www.census.gov/library/publications/2023/demo/p60-279.html


🚨 Emergency Expense Statistics


Federal Reserve Report on Economic Well-Being (2023)

https://www.federalreserve.gov/publications/2023-economic-well-being-of-us-households-in-2022.htm


📉 The Working Poor in the U.S.


U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics – Working Poor Report (2022)

https://www.bls.gov/opub/reports/working-poor/2022/home.htm


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