Lost in the Big People’s World: The Neurodivergent Struggle with “Adulting”

There are days when I swear I’m doing life all wrong—days when I dig through my bag, my pockets, the counter, the car, and the entire universe just trying to find my keys. My ID? Who knows where that is. A form I was supposed to fill out? Probably buried under the avalanche of “important papers” I swore I would organize.

I see people in the world who seem to have it together. Their keys live in a designated spot. Their IDs are tucked neatly into their wallets. They remember their appointments, they renew their licenses on time, they keep track of everything like it’s second nature. Meanwhile, I’m standing in the checkout line, realizing I have no idea where my debit card is—again.

I’ve spent my whole life feeling like a toddler lost in the big people’s world. A world where deadlines exist, where important documents must be kept safe, where cars need oil changes, and health insurance has open enrollment periods. But my brain? My brain does not care. It refuses to retain this information in a way that makes sense.

I try. Oh, I try. I buy planners and make lists. I set reminders on my phone (which I inevitably swipe away and forget). I create “systems” to keep track of things—only to abandon them two weeks later because they don’t feel natural. And it’s exhausting.

Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world means constantly feeling like you’re failing at the most basic aspects of adulthood. It’s not that we don’t care. It’s not that we’re lazy or irresponsible. It’s that our brains are wired differently. Executive dysfunction is real, and it turns things that should be simple—keeping track of keys, managing appointments, remembering which forms to fill out—into an Olympic-level challenge.

I wish more people understood this. I wish the world was built for brains like mine, where there were softer edges and safety nets for the things I inevitably drop. But until then, I’ll keep doing my best, even when my best means asking my friend (again) where I last left my wallet.

Because at the end of the day, I am trying. And though that will NEVER be enough in this world—it’s all I can do. 🤷🏻‍♀️ 

And btw—you DON’T get extra credit or points for showing up to court a week early…in the rain, no less. Guess how I know. 😉