Why Do Skinny, Fatphobic Women Obsess Over Obese People Online?

 

“They tried to break me with their words, but I turned every letter into fuel. Watch me rise”

I will never understand it. Never. Why do skinny, fat-phobic women — who have never struggled a day in their lives with weight issues — sit down to watch TV shows about obese people, and then go out of their way to follow us online? What is their motivator? What could they possibly gain from it?

I’ve thought about it. I’ve really thought about it. I’ve tried to come up with some logical explanation that doesn’t lead to the same conclusion every time: control, superiority, and cruelty.

Because here’s what happens — every single time. They watch. They follow. Then they comment. Not with support, encouragement, or empathy. No, that would require humanity. Instead, they leave hateful remarks, backhanded “advice,” and outright degradation. They belittle the very real progress we make on our journeys. They pick apart our bodies, our choices, our food, our exercise routines, and, of course, our self-worth.

And for what?

I’ll tell you what I think it is. I think it’s about power. I think it makes them feel better about themselves to point down at someone they perceive as “less than.” They frame it as “concern” or “just being honest,” but let’s call it what it really is: bullying. It’s insecurity wrapped in a bow of faux superiority.

Because let me be very clear: I have never, not once, seen a happy, secure, self-loving person go out of their way to mock someone on a journey of self-betterment. Not. One. Time. People who are at peace with themselves do not need to wage war on others.

And that’s what these people are doing — they’re waging war on us. It’s not enough that we fight against our own inner demons, our health battles, and the weight of generational shame; now we have to fend off the arrows being shot at us from strangers on the internet. People who know nothing about our lives or what we’ve been through. They see a snapshot — a photo, a 30-second clip, a single update — and suddenly they think they’re experts on our entire existence.

The wildest part? These women are choosing to engage with us. They don’t have to watch those TV shows. They don’t have to follow us online. They don’t have to comment. But they do. They choose to. And that, to me, speaks volumes.

What kind of person follows someone just to tear them down? What kind of person waits for the chance to critique someone they’ve never met? It’s a sickness, honestly. It’s a reflection of their emptiness, not ours.

Here’s the truth: We’re out here trying. We’re out here making changes, step by step, meal by meal, day by day. Some days we win. Some days we lose. But we’re doing it. We’re living it. Our lives aren’t for spectacle or consumption. They’re not for someone else’s warped form of entertainment.

But maybe that’s the part that bothers them the most — that we keep going. That we don’t crumble under their comments. That we get up, again and again, even after they try to tear us down. They want us to feel like we’ll never win, but the real gag is, we already are. We’re here, and we’re fighting for our lives, not for their approval.

So, to every person who’s had to deal with this nonsense, I see you. I am you. I know how it feels to have a complete stranger pick apart your life like you’re not a whole human being with feelings, goals, and dreams. But you know what? Let them watch. Let them follow. Let them stay mad.

Because every pound lost, every boundary set, every step forward is a reminder that they have no power here. We’ve already won.